He Wasn't

It would take a massive turnaround for all Montreal Canadiens fans to embrace Randy Cunneyworth, let alone Quebec nationalists. The French-sounding but not French-speaking Rene Bourque, not unlike Avril Lavigne and the fitting song "He Wasn't," might not be the best place to start, but desperate times call for desperate measures. The Calgary Flames aren't necessarily desperate, but I don't see how Mike Cammalleri would be substantively different from Olli Jokinen, Alex Tanguay, Theoren Fleury, or Craig Conroy.

I could talk about the matter of exploring same-sex marriage in the sensationalist coverage of forced divorces, but I don't think Stephen Harper would want to revisit this issue not unlike how Bob Rae isn't going to run for permanent leadership due to his Ontario baggage not unlike Sheila Copps...oh wait, perhaps never mind. While I still believe that Canada is the best country in the world in several different areas, there is room for improvement. Although I don't think the government is going in the correct direction and I might have to say sorry to the world, at least I'm allowed to possess the creativity to fully parodize Avril Lavigne:

Bourque:
There's not much going on today.
I'm really bored, it's getting late.
What happened to my playing days?
Another game missed...oh I hate.
Elbowing Backstrom, makes me stay at home.

Quebec nationalists:
Bourque wasn't what we wanted, what we thought, no.
Bourque couldn't even speak our language more.
Bourque never made me feel like we were special.
Bourque isn't really what we're looking for.

Cammalleri:
Losing's when I start to bite my nails.
And blame the team when all else fails.
I think it's time for me to bail.
This point of view is getting stale.
I'll sit on my bed alone, staring at the phone.

Quebec nationalists:
Bourque wasn't what we wanted, what we thought, no.
Bourque couldn't even speak our language more.
Bourque never made me feel like we were special.
Bourque isn't really what we're looking for.

Quebec nationalists with others:
Vive le Québec, we've all got choices.
O Canada, we've all got voices.
No Rae nor Sheila! Stand up make some noise.
No more Harper! Stand up make some noise.

Pierre Gauthier and Jay Feaster:
I'll sit on my bed alone, staring at the phone.

Quebec nationalists:
Bourque wasn't what we wanted, what we thought, no.
Bourque couldn't even speak our language more.
Bourque never made me feel like we were special.
Bourque isn't really what we're looking for.
Bourque wasn't what we wanted, what we thought, no.
Bourque couldn't even speak our language more.
Bourque never made me feel like we were special.
Like we were special, 'cause WE WERE SPECIAL!

Vive le Québec!